How to cope with overwhelming anxiety ♡

These posts are specifically aimed towards those experiencing confusion or overwhelming feelings about anxiety and are of my own opinion based on what has helped me personally. I will be referring to 'anxiety' a lot in this article as a generalised term of other mental health disorders that fall under this name. When specifically talking about social anxiety, G.A.D, OCD etc I will specifically state. I'm not a mental health professional, and I would always recommend seeing your doctor, but I know how much of a big step that can be for people. These are things that have helped me - and other people I know who suffer with similar problems - to overcome very overwhelming anxiety and begin to take steps to a long term recovery. Remember that Samaritans are always available to talk about any overwhelming problems you're facing - you do not have to be suicidal.

Recently, I've been suffering with stress induced anxiety that's impacted greatly on my life. Even though I've had life altering anxiety and depression for 6 years, sometimes it still gets on top of me and makes normal life very difficult. It causes a range of problems, the worst being crippling phobias that seem very real and dangerous and panic attacks that cause barriers in my daily life. This is not a sob story; but instead often the reality of people living with mental health problems. Whether you're new to these feelings, had them for years, or not even sure how you feel, I hope my experiences and advice will help you understand and get through whatever tough times you're facing. 

♡ What you are feeling is normal ♡

There are so many forms of anxiety, and every one experiences it differently. Stress, depression, generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, OCD - the list goes on. Even though you may feel like you're going crazy and things may not seem normal, you are definitely not the only person that feels this way. When you first get diagnosed, or even before that, it's so easy to feel isolated and scared, because the emotions you suddenly have to deal with are so abstract and weird that it seems like there's no way these things could be 'normal', but they are.

My first serious brush with anxiety was a couple years into high school when I first began to disassociate. For those that aren't familiar, disassociating is related to feeling detached from reality  - commonly described as feeling like you're watching a movie of your life instead of living it and facing a very sudden and harsh disconnect. If you've suffered with this, you know how weird it feels, and if you haven't, I know how strange it sounds. I was very young when I first faced these feelings and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I was petrified - so much so that I didn't want to visit my doctor because I was so scared that something was seriously wrong with me. After months of confusion and fear I finally saw my doctor. Being told I had anxiety and that I wasn't seriously ill gave me an incredible sense of relief. Granted, this didn't cure my all problems, it still made a positive impact on my life as I knew I was normal and everything was going to be okay. 

Even though it may seem scary and something that brings on feelings of anxiety, going to the doctors is very important for your peace of mind. You may have thoughts or feelings that never seemed serious before, but are suddenly taking over your life and feel like a legitimate fear to you: in most cases these turn out to be a phobia or part of anxiety that can be handled with therapy or medication. Naming and diagnosing what you're feeling will help you start to move forward, even if it's just recognising that it's there. If you had broken your leg, you wouldn't carry on walking on it until it got better: you would go to the doctors, have a cast, and rest and until your bones had healed. Anxiety is the same. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's any different from any other problem with your health. With the right help and enough time to recover, your anxiety can become something you learn to cope with and will get a million times better.

♡ Anxiety is irrational, but your feelings are still valid ♡

As you may already know, denying your anxiety does you no good. It's something that is out of your control. You can't really ignore it or hide away because it causes you to worry all the time and possibly manifests in physical ways such as panic attacks. Whatever is holding you back will feel very real to you! Don't let anyone make you feel bad by dulling it down or mocking how you feel because you can't control how it makes you feel. It's also important to know that even though it will seem very real to you, specific fears and phobias related to anxiety are irrational. This isn't to say that what you feel isn't valid or that you're weak in any way, (anxiety will tend to put a lot of negative thoughts into your head) this just means that your mind processes situations differently. Finding a balance between validating your feelings whilst realising that they're irrational is difficult, but for some people being able to recognise their anxiety is an important step to becoming more in control.

A very unpleasant and life altering part of anxiety is experiencing panic attacks. In very simple terms, panic attacks are your body's reaction to life threatening situations. It's both a physical and psychological reaction that can be triggered by absolutely anything. For example, for people with social anxiety disorder, thoughts of having to be in public around a lot of people or travelling too far away from home will seem terrifying. Even though in your head you know that you'd be okay anxiety is irrational and would make it seem like a situation you'd do anything to avoid. When thoughts and worries begin to become overwhelming - no matter what they are - always remember that anxiety is irrational. I can't say it enough. Remember that these feelings are temporary, you don't have to be scared of your anxiety.  

♡ You are not lazy, selfish, or weak ♡

Anxiety is different for everyone, from a minor inconvenience to totally life destroying. This factor does not depend on how well you deal with things, your character, or yourself as a person. You'll get some people in your life that think mental health issues are a sign of weakness, but it's just not true. People that have not experienced anxiety and have no interested in trying to understand it will always have their own opinions, whether they're negative or positive. Even some people who have had anxiety but in a different way will have solidified their own experiences as if it's the same for everyone and seem prejudiced against those who don't cope as well. It's hard enough having to battle the negative thoughts and worries that come along with anxiety from yourself and hearing other people being mean or rude only makes it harder to keep a positive mindset.

But in all honesty - those people don't matter. Not one bit. Whether it's strangers, friends, or even your family. No one has the right to call you lazy, selfish, or weak, when they have no idea what you're going through. And no matter how hard you try to explain yourself, some people will remain ignorant.  I experienced conversations where people would say things like, 'I would never get anxiety because I'm just not that type of person' but the fact is there isn't any specific trait that means you're more sensitive to anxiety, stress, or depression. Anyone can have a mental disorder: it doesn't matter if you're strong or weak, extroverted or introverted. And if you ever wish to become open about talking about it, you'll learn that it affects so many more people than you would expect. 

Also, it's okay to be selfish sometimes. It's necessary to keep yourself balanced. If you don't make some decisions solely for your own mental health, then you'll end up making yourself worse. It's okay to be lazy too - anxiety, depression, and stress make you really tired. You might need a day when you do nothing but stay in bed - you might need a week. Mental health problems may affect your sleeping, eating, and social habits too, which in turn affects your relationships with people you're close to, your energy levels, and your day to day life. If things get extremely difficult to deal with your situation with education or work may change. Taking a break from college, university, or work may become a real possibility; and this break could span any time from a couple of days to even years. It could change your life. Putting aside or even abandoning completely the parts of life that are simply too difficult is not an automatic failure: you're not weak, you haven't given up. You can't just keep going until you run yourself to nothing or have a breakdown. You're strong for just living with anxiety; for putting up with it every day, and for always getting back on your feet when it's knocked you down. And you have to deal with it in whatever way you can. Learn to be a little bit selfish and lazy when you need to, but don't ever forget that even when you feel at your most weak, you're still incredibly strong.

♡ You will recover ♡

One of the most important things to remember is that you won't feel like this forever. There are so many forms of help out there! Your friends and family will be there to support you, even if it's just as someone to talk to. Remember that you're not alone while you're going through this. Keeping social and planning activities you love doing will help you stay positive - it's good to always have something to look forward to within the next couple weeks or months. Whatever it is you're dealing with, it'll get better in time, from sudden changes to very gradual ones. You could be having a panic attack one minute, and be calm the next. Or feel like you're stuck in a part of life that's especially difficult, then before you know it, you're over those hard times and heading towards better things. Anxiety is all about baby steps. Break down your personal goals into more realistic steps. Have a list of some small things you want to do and save it to your phone, or write it down and keep it somewhere you'll see it every day.

Things will get easier over time. The help you receive from friends, family, or any therapy you wish to participate in, will support you while you move forward.  Read through these steps, or figure out what works for you, and always keep it in the back of your mind. Look at other experiences you've had where you've struggled and things have improved. 

You are strong enough to deal with anything life throws at you, and you'll become a stronger person for it. Good luck and stay positive. Thank you so much for reading and I really hope that you find this post helpful!